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Искусственный Интеллект
Искусственный Интеллект
Искусственный Интеллект
Лучший ответ
Оксана Федюк
(3869)
13 лет назад
SCHOOL JOKES
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
TEACHER : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil : Life imprisonment !
TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Pupil : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night !
TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil :Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Pupil : Twins !
TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils!
Mother:What did you learn in school today?
Son: Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!
Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!
"I will do anything to pass"
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
TEACHER : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil : Life imprisonment !
TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Pupil : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night !
TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil :Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Pupil : Twins !
TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils!
Mother:What did you learn in school today?
Son: Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!
Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!
"I will do anything to pass"
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
Остальные ответы
летний дождь
(77641)
13 лет назад
встретились на выходе из туалета русский и американец! американец: "нас в америке учили руки мыть после туалета! "русский: "а нас в школе учили на руки не ссать! "-попробуйте перевести!!!!
Владимир Захаров-Вальнер
(32973)
13 лет назад
A grade school teacher учительница начальной школы was asking students спрашивала учеников what their parents did for a living что их родители делают для «проживания» = чем они зарабатывают на жизнь.
"Tim, you be first Тим, ты будь = будешь первым, " she said.
"What does your mother do all day? что твоя мама делает весь день = чем она занята"
Tim stood up and proudly said Тим поднялся и гордо сказал /to stand-stood-stood/, "She's a doctor она доктор"
"That's wonderful это чудесно.
How about you, Amie? а у тебя, Эми"
Amie shyly застенчиво stood up, scuffed her feet повозила ногами and said, "My father is a mailman мой отец почтальон.
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher.
"What about your father а как насчет твоего отца, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced объявил; announce, "My daddy plays piano мой папа играет на пианино in a whorehouse в борделе; whore - проститутка. "
The teacher was aghast ошеломлена; aghast - пораженный ужасом, ошеломленный and promptly быстро, тут же changed the subject to geography переменила тему на географию.
Later that day позже в тот же день she went to Billy's house and rang the bell позвонила в звонок /to ring-rang-rung/.
Billy's father answered the door открыл дверь; to answer - отвечать.
The teacher explained разъяснила, сообщила what his son had said что сказал его сын and demanded an explanation и потребовала объяснения.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney на самом деле я адвокат.
How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old? как бы я объяснил это: «как могу я объяснить подобную вещь» семилетнему /ребенку/"
Анекдот только на английском языке
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said.
"What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful.
How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher.
"What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography.
Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell.
"Tim, you be first Тим, ты будь = будешь первым, " she said.
"What does your mother do all day? что твоя мама делает весь день = чем она занята"
Tim stood up and proudly said Тим поднялся и гордо сказал /to stand-stood-stood/, "She's a doctor она доктор"
"That's wonderful это чудесно.
How about you, Amie? а у тебя, Эми"
Amie shyly застенчиво stood up, scuffed her feet повозила ногами and said, "My father is a mailman мой отец почтальон.
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher.
"What about your father а как насчет твоего отца, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced объявил; announce, "My daddy plays piano мой папа играет на пианино in a whorehouse в борделе; whore - проститутка. "
The teacher was aghast ошеломлена; aghast - пораженный ужасом, ошеломленный and promptly быстро, тут же changed the subject to geography переменила тему на географию.
Later that day позже в тот же день she went to Billy's house and rang the bell позвонила в звонок /to ring-rang-rung/.
Billy's father answered the door открыл дверь; to answer - отвечать.
The teacher explained разъяснила, сообщила what his son had said что сказал его сын and demanded an explanation и потребовала объяснения.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney на самом деле я адвокат.
How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old? как бы я объяснил это: «как могу я объяснить подобную вещь» семилетнему /ребенку/"
Анекдот только на английском языке
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said.
"What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful.
How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher.
"What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography.
Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell.
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