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But the prospect of failing to survive was not mere­ly frightening, as she had expected. It was devastat­ing. The dignity with which she had intended to face her final moments, whenever they might come, turned
out to have depended entirely on the ability to draw breath. Dignity was inconsistent with this straining chest, this locked throat now almost too tired to keep the water out. She perceived that her life had been not safe but smug, and that she was about to spend the last of it in mindless archings and jerkings, like a fish on a dusty bank. It wasn't to be borne.