2мес

Помогите проверить письмо по английскому надо на впр

Вы получили электронное письмо от Вашего друга по переписке Эндрю из Великобритании
Ниже приведён отрывок из этого письма.
From: Andrew@friend.uk
To: Russian friend@mail.ru
Subject: Sports
...I love doing sports very much. What about you? What sports do teenagers like in Russia? Do yor watch sports programmes on TV? Did you take part in sports competitions last year?
Напишите ему ответное письмо объёмом 80-90 слов, ответьте на три его вопроса. Оформите свой ответ в соответствии с правилами оформления письма. Не пишите адрес и дату Не забудьте поблагодарить друга за полученное письмо.
Вот само письмо
Dear Andrew,
Thanks for your email. It is great to near from you.
In your message you asked me about sports. Well,I love sports. In Russia, teenagers enjoy football, basketball, and hockey the most. Many of us practice these sports after school or on weekends. I often watch sports programs on TV, especially during major tournaments. Last year, I participated in a local football competition with my friends, and it was a great experience! What about your favorite sports?
That is all for now. Write back soon

Best wishes,

По дате

По рейтингу

arthur505

Профи

2мес

Более исправленный вариант, нежели предыдущий:
Dear Andrew,
Thanks so much for your email! It's always great to hear from you.
You asked about sports. Well, I'm a big fan too. In Russia, teenagers are really into football, basketball, and ice hockey. Lots of us play these sports after school or at the weekends. I often watch sports programmes on TV, especially when there's a big tournament on. Last year, I took part in a local football competition with my friends - it was an amazing experience! What are your favourite sports to play or watch?
Anyway, that's all for now. Write back soon!
Best wishes(Your name).
Серьёзные ошибки, допущенные тобой в неисправленном мною тексте:
"Dear Andrew,
Thanks for your email. It is great to near from you.
In your message you asked me about sports. Well,I love sports. In Russia, teenagers enjoy football, basketball, and hockey the most. Many of us practice these sports after school or on weekends. I often watch sports programs on TV, especially during major tournaments. Last year, I participated in a local football competition with my friends, and it was a great experience! What about your favorite sports?
That is all for now. Write back soon
Best wishes".
1) "near from". Это слишком грубая ошибка, сразу снижающая балл за владение лексикой. Нужно писать "hear from" .
2. Стилистическая неточность: "practice these sports".
Вот это снижает впечатление о твоём владении языком, звучит менее естественно. Лучше писать "play these sports". (Грамматически верно, но стилистически лучше).
3. Недостаточная коммуникативность вопроса: "What about your favorite sports?": Менее эффективно для поддержания переписки. Расширение вопроса делает его более значимым.
4. "That is all for now." - довольно формальное завершение диалога.

minecraft_178

Гуру

2мес

Вот немного откорректированный вариант твоего письма.

Dear Andrew,

Thanks for your email. It is great to hear from you.
In your message you asked me about sports. Well, I love sports. In Russia, teenagers enjoy football, basketball, and hockey the most. Many of us play these sports after school or on weekends. I often watch sports programmes on TV, especially during big tournaments. Last year, I took part in a local football competition with my friends – it was a great experience!
What about your favourite sports?

That’s all for now. Write back soon.

Best wishes,
Your name