Оцените эссе по английскому, пожалуйста!

Готовлюсь к ДВИ в МГУ, написала эссе по цитате "Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world." Нужно было подтвердить свое мнение 2 аргументами и 1 примером. Оцените просто как вообще звучит и насколько убедительно) Конкретных критериев у меня нет, к сожалению.

Since the humanity was born we have always been investigating, discovering, traveling all over the world aiming to learn everything we can about this place we considered our home and our property. However, with time, people realized that they do not rule the world no matter how far the progress goes. The more you know the more you become convinced in, as Gustave Flaubert said, "what a tiny place you occupy in the world."

I cannot disagree with this opinion, though I, myself, am by no means an experienced traveler. To understand what Flaubert ment when he said that, it is enough to just imagine what people felt when space traveling became possible. The fact that we are only a tiny island of life in an enormous and dark world of mystery is striking and definitely makes you feel how tiny we all are compared to the world we live in.

A few years ago I have read a book I accidentally found on a shelf of a bookstore. It was a journal or a diary written by a man who decided to spend some time living away from civilization. In his journal he wrote about the way his views on life were changing as he got further away from his comfort zone. He realized that all power we think we have in this world crashes down when we are no longer in a place we are used to.

To be honest, even a small trip can change the way you think. Each time you broaden your horizons by visiting new places you make your "world map", the picture of the world in your mind, bigger and, as a result, your own place in this map becomes smaller and smaller. One day you realize that you can hardly see yourself in it. Traveling helps us discover how many cultures, people, countries are out there and how different we all are.

To conclude, traveling is not only a way to unwind and get distracted from your routine, it is also a way of exploring ourselves. When you see a place where people live not as good as you, you start to feel thankful for what you have, and when you visit places where life is much brighter than yours, you see what you can achieve and it motivates you to work harder.